學生作文

給予孩子的建議:

1.     When it comes to / = Speaking of the music, it would like a close friend (accompanying) with me.

è 談論到: When it comes to / = Speaking of  有兩種用法，請參考。

è  Accompany 可加可不加，若一定要加，可用關代省略的方式: Ving(主) / Vpp(被)

2.     Since my childhood, I have learned diverse instruments, including / inclusive of piano and cello.

è Since 必與完成式連用! 另外， instruments為可數名詞! GOOD!

è Such as 是較為普通的用法，可嘗試練習 including / inclusive of 的用法。

3.     During the attempt on practice, it was very difficult for me.

è 此句中文為: 在此次嘗試練習的期間。可參考attempt 的用法:

He made an attempt on the world record. 他試圖打破世界記錄。

Her attempt at poetry was a failure. 她嘗試寫詩失敗了。

 My daughter attempts to stand up. 我女兒嘗試著站起來。

4.     With my constant (不間斷的) / earnest (認真的、熱心的) practice, I could perform a whole song and I got the sense of achievement (成就感)

è With 有伴隨、附帶的意思，下次可參考使用。記住!  With 是介係詞，後面必須加名詞。

è The sense of achievement 可用來取代 happy，可嘗試!

5.     Day after day, I can show my talent in the stage and even join / participate in / take part in the music contest.

è Talent 為天賦或是與生俱來的才能，用show來搭配即可。

è 另外，join / participate in / take part in the music contest 是老師自己所想像的! 為什麼要加上去呢? 因為展現才華的方式，其中有一個就是參加比賽，或是到什麼地方去表演。博文可隨意運用自身的經驗，也可以使得文章更有連續感(因為可呼應第四句的成就感，更可呼應最後一句的結論句)。

6.     By chance, I deeply felt learning instruments was the most precious growth process in my life.

è By chance 為”意外地”的用法，相似詞還有: by accident = unexpectedly = suddenly = accidentally

è 用 growth process 用”成長過程”來取代thing，是否好些? 是否違反了你的本意呢? 可參考之。

7.     Later 乃較為攏統的用法，可用  as I grew up / when I am being mature 的用法。