學生作文

給予孩子的建議:

1.     On Chinese New Year’s Eve, a dog, Ian, was sitting on the floor as (=while) Phebe was cooking delicious and delicate cuisines in the kitchen.

è On + 一年只過一次的節日。另外，in 可表在…期間 = during

è a dog, Ian,  小狗的名子叫Ian 可用同位語表示之。

è when = as / while = as 的用法可參考老師的連接詞講義。而while 通常與 Ving (動作連續) 連用。

è 菜餚: cuisines = dishes

2.     Can’t help but + V.R.

è Can’t help but make its mouth water = Can’t help but run at the mouth.

Mouth-watering 為形容詞的用法。 例如: Ivan is mouth-watering when he saw the delicious cuisine.

3.     荐漳想表達的意思應該是: 同時間，某人聽見一個奇怪的聲音正在接近廚房。可改為:

At the same time, strange sound was approaching the kitchen.

è 刪除step是因為 聲音不會踏進廚房阿!只有”人”才會做step 的動作。

老師提供荐漳以下寫法:

At the same time, Phebe’s wife notice a man with the gorilla costumes appraoched and stepped into the kitchen. The scene scared his wife a lot!

4.     Not knowing what happen, his wife wanted to call the police and his husband for help.

è 因為不知道發生什麼事，他太太想尋求警察或是丈夫的協助。

è Not knowing 為省略 連接詞 與 主詞的分詞用法，請練習之。另外，call somebody’s for help 為上星期上課教過的用法，也可練習之。

5.    However, Phebe’s wife were not aware that the gorilla is a special gift which his husband dressed up.

è 此句為第二張圖片與第三張圖片之緩衝句(承上啟下)句。

6.     看見他太太驚慌的樣子，Ian決定要把真相告訴太太了。

Seeing the scare, Ian decided to tell the truth to his wife.

7.     Ian immediately turned off the mask and gave his wife a bunch of flowers.

è 這句寫得不錯! Good ^^

8.     第八句開始可以說明為什麼要送花? 其實就是要增加文章的篇幅、長度。

Because today is her birthdday, Ian was willing to show his blessing.

   可簡單說明夫婦兩人的心情。

After realizing the her husband’s mind, his wife felt thoughtful and touching.

   更可簡單說明小狗的心情。

With the happiness atmosphere (氣氛), their dog enjoy the dishes as well and wag its tail. (搖尾巴)

   結尾可簡單說明，這一家人在除夕夜的狀況。(某個程度需要想像一下)

After the accident, Ian and his wife clean the dishes which was fallen on the floor and then cook the dishes toghther! With the unforgettable memory, they spent the whole night with their dog pet joyfully.

以下幾點提醒荐漳:

1.     可先用中文將想表達的意思寫下，之後再翻譯成英文，以維持文章的邏輯性。

2.     注意其分段! 建議: 可將第一句至第六句歸類為第一段，其餘歸類為第二段。