老師的建議:
1.
In / During my father
childhood, he led a toilsome life.
è 過著…的生活可用動詞lead-led-led
è Toilsome (adj.) 辛苦的(泛指要付出勞力)
2.
He got up early and did lots of
toilsome jobs (with my grandparents).
è At ten 和 even 老師試著去除! 因為不需要特別用even(即使)強調,也不用強調年紀。
3.
Although the life is hard for
him, he still made his effort step by step.
è Hard 和 hardly 很不一樣,要去搞清楚!
Hard (adj.)
·
硬的,堅固的 The ice is
as hard as rock. 冰像石頭一樣硬。
·
困難的,費力的[+to-v] George
is hard to get along with. 喬治很難相處。
·
刻苦的;努力的[B] She is
a hard worker. 她是一個工作十分勤奮的人。
Hard (adv.)
·
努力地;艱苦地 She tried hard, but
failed. 她努力嘗試過,但未能成功。
·
猛烈地;重重地 It's raining hard. 雨下得很大。
·
困難地;困苦地 The old man is
breathing hard. 這位老人呼吸困難。
·
牢固地,緊緊地 He held hard on to
the rope. 他牢牢抓著繩子。
Hardly (adv.) à 要注意倒裝句型(文法書)
·
.幾乎不,簡直不
My legs were so weak
that I could hardly stand. 我的腿虛弱得簡直無法站立。
·
不十分;儘,剛 He
had hardly arrived when it began to snow. 他一到,天就下起雪來了。
è effort 是名詞 努力,沒有動詞的用法。所搭配的動詞為make-made-made
Ex: My effort finally has paid back after ten years.
4.
Gradually, his career become
successful and improve the family financial situation.
è 這句老師試著改為:逐漸地,爸爸的事業變得越來越成功,進而改善了家庭的經濟狀況。
è 事業老師用career 這個字。另外還有an undertaking、an enterprise、an industry、a service…還有很多,可以先看過有印象即可!
cultural undertakings; cultural
enterprises 文化事業
charitable enterprise; charitable
undertakings 慈善事業
è 成功這個字補充一下好了! 有各種不同詞性,必須留意!
Succeed V. 成功 success N. 成功
successful adj successfully adv.
He never gives up in the process of pursuing his dream and he
finally succeeds.
5.
But he knew that the more reputation
he earned, the more task he had!
è 博文!其實earn 不只可以賺money,還可以賺reputation
(名聲、信譽、商譽…)
對於做生意的人來說,商譽永遠比前更重要!
è Task 本身就是(辛苦的)工作或是事情的含意,可以參考!
6.
From my father, I acquire that
we have to keep bettering myself and seize every chance.
è 用上句最為第一段的小結尾。因為題目是 What I learn from my father,因此我們的首尾呼應一番!
è Acquire 和 learn 都有學習、獲得之意! Ex: She has mastered English
grammar and acquired a large vocabulary without the help of a
teacher. 她在沒有老師指導的情況下,掌握了英文文法,學到了大量字彙。
7.
In addition to his example, my
father also share his own experience of success.
è 博文!你還記得老師曾和你說過,文章要有轉折語或連結詞語的事情嗎?In addition to
his example就是一個範例,讓你的文章從第一段轉接第二段不會那麼生硬!
8.
First, we make use of (利用)the natural resource in the earth. Likewise, we must protect our
environment from overdevelopment.
è 這個句子其實是老師刻意地要博文複習幾個用法和學習單字,你原本的句子已經算是無誤了!
è Make use of 和 protect……from都是學過的,不可以忘記!
另外補充,<某事情用法>的英文:the usage of something
Ex: the usage of a smartphone is to communicate with people.
9.
The last but not least, I learn
the sympathy (=empathy) from my father. It means that we have to look at the world through somebody else’s
eyes and stand in their shoes.
è 黑體字的部分就是老師用來解釋sympathy (=empathy)同理心的句子,你可參考之!
10. Thus, we have ability someday, we should assist people in need.
è 幫助有需要的人,也可以學習其簡潔的說法:assist people in need
補充一下assist這個字:
及物動詞(vt.)
- 幫助,協助[(+with/in)]
We asked him
to assist us in designing a new bridge. 我們請他幫助我們設計一座新橋。
不及物動詞(vi.)
- 幫助,協助[(+with/in)] He assisted in
designing the new bridge. 他協助設計那條新橋。
11. Because of his behavior / manner, I gain the value of hard work and
responsibility, but also compassion and empathy.
è 因為父親的一言一行,使我獲得對於工作的認真、負責、熱情與對於與人相處的同理心。
è 補充manner:名詞
·
方法 We walked in a leisurely manner,
looking in all the windows. 我們慢悠悠地走著,看遍所有的櫥窗。
·
態度,行為舉止
·
禮貌,規矩;習慣 It is bad manners to interrupt. 打斷別人的話是不禮貌的。